Ok I get it!!! Im not getting any younger

• I look at elastic waist band pants and actually don't shudder with revulsion and wonder out loud " Ill bet these would be comfortable"




• Actually wear my pj's to take childrens to school and have no worries of being arrested for indecent exposure




• Don't own a pair of shoes anymore, that the heel is over 1 inch tall




• I get up to pee in the middle of the night numerous times




• While out to dinner last night watched a table of 10 young men and women celebrate a birthday by getting 3 sheets to wind and wanted to walk over and make sure there was a designated driver.




• The hair color isle is my best friend




• No matter how strong the under wire is I am still tripping over the ladies.




• I am calling the girls, ladies




• My shorts are now called Capri's




• I no longer want to sit on the floor if there are no chairs available I look around for the tallest/hardest chair in the room




• When the highlight of my day is getting a buy one get one free feminine hygiene products rather than happy hour at Zigs



• It now takes a week to recover from a hangover and my favorite refrain is I sure cant drink like I used too, instead of I cant belive I drank that much